


Itch

by Kamikaze_stewardess



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Adoption, Chill Yuuri, Family, Fluff, Gross, Humor, M/M, Panicked Victor, Treatments, head lice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-21 01:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10675071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamikaze_stewardess/pseuds/Kamikaze_stewardess
Summary: Victor loves Yuuri.Yuuri loves Victor.They both love their adopted son, Yuri(o.)When there's a lice outbreak at Yuri's high school, he's sent home, and both fathers face the challenges of messy parenthood.All 3 of them hate the word "lice."





	Itch

**Author's Note:**

> This is short, stupid and intended to be cute fluff. Head lice sucks.
> 
> All of this came about because I wanted to write something which hadn't been written before.

Yurio walked through the door, one Tuesday afternoon, before school was due to let out. Yuuri poked his head up from over the back of the couch; it was still early, so he didn't expect his adopted son to be home so soon.

"Oh, hey Yurio! What are you doing back so early?"

Yurio said nothing. He just stomped over to Yuuri's side of the couch, dropped his backpack on the ground and thrust a piece of paper at Yuuri's chest. 

Yuuri adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose and read the print; when he realized what it said, his eyes bugged out of his head in surprise.

"You caught head lice," he stated, quite plainly.

Yurio crossed his arms and grumbled to himself.

"Yeah, guess I caught it from some nasty kid."

"You don't get lice from being dirty, Yurio."

"Can you just get rid of it?!" Yurio barked.

Yuuri sighed and read over the paper again; the school nurse was kind enough to include instructions for treatment, which seemed tedious, but not too expensive or difficult.

"Of course we can. I had lice when I was a kid too. It's a social taboo, but nothing to be alarmed about."

Yuuri maintained a professional air about him as he stepped over and picked at Yurio's hair.

"Get off me, pig!" 

"Yuri, if you don't let me look through your hair, I can't get rid of them."

This time, Yurio crossed his arms over his chest and grumbled, but cooperated in allowing his father to peak about his head.

Yuuri parted the thin strands of golden blonde hair and, sure enough, saw the familiar creepy crawly signs of head lice. He sighed and let his hands drop.

"Well, the school nurse was right. Guess I need to text Victor before he gets home."

"Yeah, whatever. I'll be gaming until the old man gets here."

~~~~~~~

'Hey, can you pick up a head lice kit on your way home? We need to treat Yurio. ~Katsudon'

'WHAT?! *shocked emoji* ~V-Nikiforov'

'There's an outbreak at his school and he has it, so he was sent home. We have to get rid of it before he can go back. ~Katsudon'

For the sake of his own peace of mind, Yuuri decided to check his own hair; he stepped into the bathroom and peered in the mirror, parting his hair in careful sections. When he found nothing, he breathed a sigh of relief, but vowed to check Victor too, just to be on the safe side.

Moments later, Yuuri heard the front door open and the urgent call of, "I'm here! I've got it!"

Victor rushed in, looking panicked and wind swept; he'd clearly ran back from the corner store after he left work. He braced himself in the bathroom doorway, pharmacy back swinging wildly in his hand.

"Where's Yurio?!"

Yuuri quirked an eyebrow at his husband.

"He's playing his games."

"What? How can he be gaming at a time like this?!"

Yuuri peered at Victor with perplexed curiosity; yes, he knew head lice was an unpleasant condition, to say the least, but it wasn't such an urgent issue as Victor made it to be.

"....he's not dying, Victor. I couldn't do anything until you brought the treatment kit, so I let him play his games."

As Yuuri spoke, Victor was subconsciously scratching at his scalp. So Yuuri, now filled with dread, turned to his husband and said, "Come here, let's make sure you don't have it."

Which Victor eagerly obliged, sitting on the toilet seat so Yuuri could pick through his silver locks.

"Nope. Don't see anything on you either," said Yuuri.

"But are you sure? I'm so itchy now!"

"Victor, sometimes the itch is psychological. You start itching as soon as you learn someone in the house has lice."

Victor said nothing, as he'd returned to scratching fervently at his head, neck and even arms.

Yuuri had to bite his lip, as not to smile in amusement.

"You've never had it, have you?"

"Haven't had what?"

Victor was still digging his nails across his scalp.

"Head lice. You've never had it?"

Victor visibly winced and said, "agh, don't say that, Yuuri!"

Yuuri just shook his head and reached for the bag, which had been carelessly discarded onto the bathroom floor. He pulled the box out and read over the instructions.

"Ok, this says to apply to unwashed hair and rinse it out. Then, we have to comb through his hair, until all of the lice and nits are gone. Can you go get Yurio?.....Victor?"

Yuuri peered up when Victor didn't respond; his husband was bracing himself against a wall, looking like he might be sick, or pass out, or get sick and then pass out in the puddle. He sighed and set the box down on the bathroom vanity.

"Ok, I'LL get Yurio and make him put this stuff in his hair. After he's done, you can sterilize the house while I comb."

Victor's head snapped up. "....the house?'

At this point, Yuuri was ready to just shave Yurio's head, clean the house himself and call it a day. Instead, he pinched the bridge of his nose and took a moment to gather himself.

"Yes. We have to vacuum the carpet and couch, and wash all of the linens. I don't think they can survive on dogs, but we should check Makkachin too--"

A high pitched whine erupted from Victor's throat. 

"Not my sweet baby Makkachin!!!"

~~~~~~~

After several hours of combing and picking, as well as enduring Yurio's angry cursing, they were finally done. Yuuri was exhausted, so he collapsed on his freshly vacuumed couch while Victor ordered takeout.

His husband felt a little bad about completely losing his shit, so he let Yuuri relax while he set the table for a candlelit dinner. Sure, it was lo mein and orange chicken from China town, but he was determined to make the evening special. Having been declared head lice free, Yurio left to stay the night with Otabek, so it was just the two of them.

The doorbell rang, so Victor grabbed his wallet and buzzed for the delivery man to be allowed in the building. He paid, tipped well and set everything up for a relaxing evening meal with his Yuuri.

The two of them sat down to eat, exchanging takeout containers and light conversation.

"Well, I hope we never have to go through that again," said Victor.

Yuuri finished chewing before he spoke.

"Somehow, I get the feeling this won't be the last time."

Victor shuddered and pushed his plate away, still half full of lo mein; somehow, his appetite was gone. Evidently Yuuri's was too, as he stood to clear the plates and put away leftovers.

Victor leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms above his head; it'd been a long, exhausting day, and he was beyond ready for bed. Yuuri had other ideas though; he crawled into his husband's lap and planted kisses down his neck, on his mouth and along his collar bone. Victor groaned, entirely wrapped in pleasure....that's when it happened. 

He glanced down at Yuuri's mop of black hair and his eyes went wide.

"Yuuri?"

"Yeah?" He asked without pausing from his ministration.

"....I don't think we're done treating the lice."

Yuuri jerked back and met his husband's terrified stare. Having caught what he meant, he knew they were in for a long, frustration filled night, IF they could even find a 24 hour pharmacy. 

"...shit.


End file.
